How do we deal with our children in time of war

May 9, 2017

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In many places, the child is subjected to difficult and harsh experiences under serious conditions; in which adults and children suffer from a threat to life. The experiences of the child from bombing, invasion; destruction and killing all constitute a burden that exceeds the child’s ability to endure.

And the emergence of that suffering in the form of behavioral and emotional symptoms is only an attempt by the child to vent his feelings compressed and we note here that if the child does not succeed in expressing his feelings in natural ways; he will resort to abnormal ways; and to reach the limit of our children to In order to express their suffering with satisfactory or abnormal behavior; we must intervene with our children in difficult situations from the very first moment the child is exposed to the traumatic event; especially the child who has symptoms as a result of being exposed to dangerous situations.

Impact of traumatic events on children:

The child’s perception of the difficult event plays a key role in determining the child’s special and subjective meaning of the event. This means that children who watch a particular event are affected in different ways based on the individual characteristics of each child; which determines the special meaning the child gives to the event

The severity of psychological stress resulting from difficult circumstances; based on the size and type of changes in the child’s life and ability to control it

The presence of other factors or pressures associated with the event also have a direct impact on the child, including:

The crisis is expected or unexpected
Duplicate the difficult event
The event is individual or collective
Presence of loss factor
Physical harm
Violence factor whether through personal observation or experience The degree of threat to the child’s life.

The personal characteristics of the child exposed to the crisis play an important role in their degree of vulnerability and include:

The child’s approach to the difficult situation, including the anxiety and child’s ability to talk about the event
Adapt the former child with crises at home, school and relationships with comrades
The existence of prior experience of the child whatever; in terms of difficult situations such as loss, exposure to violence and others
Nature of the child’s age
The degree of the child’s current activity and daily functioning
The special meaning the child gives to the difficult event.

How to deal with our children in the following cases???

First: In cases of shelling of houses and installations:

Look for the safest places in the house and take shelter
Taking into account the gathering of family members in one place and not leaving the child alone in another environment for his or her family
Do not allow children to leave before making sure that the shelling is over and prevent them from gathering at the site of the bombing out of curiosity
Avoid exaggeration in holding horrific conversations by adults about the bombing and the scenes it left on the children
Answer the child’s questions related to the bombing honestly and explain to him as simply as possible and not prevent him from talking about the subject and listen to the child’s talk with respect and interest.

Second: In cases of phantom raids:

Open the glass windows to avoid breaking the glass when the raids occur.

Explain to the child about what the phantom raids and explain how it occurs in proportion to the child

Avoid lying to the child by claiming that this raid will be the last and will not be repeated

Psychological preparation of the child to repeat the raids as if we say it is very possible that these raids are repeated at any time

Teach the child to speak with a loud voice a certain expression when the raids, such as “Oh God” or “God is great” to ease his fear and disturbance

Invite the child to talk about his fears and feelings frankly and without scorn on his speech no matter what the talk was away from reality or imaginary.

Third: In invasions:

Provide safe place for the child and keep him away from the windows and balconies and the roof and not to leave the house before making sure the end of the invasion

Explain the situation to the child and ask him to abide by the places identified by adults for his presence

Prevent children outside the areas of the invasion to group in the lines near the areas where the occupation forces

Alert the child to the dangers of playing in any foreign body for fear of dangerous residues or objects left by the occupation

Allow the child to express his fears of the situation and be careful to call the child with inappropriate descriptions and titles; such as saying a coward or a defect on you

Restrained from adults and show calm as much as possible because it is an example for them where children are greatly affected by the responses of adults during the event

Organizing group activities in which parents participate with children during the invasion to divert the child’s attention from what is happening abroad, even for a moment.