Delayed Ejaculation

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premature ejaculation

Delayed Ejaculation, late ejaculation, or delaying ejaculation is primarily the opposite of early ejaculation, as ejaculation takes a longer time to occur or does not occur at all—if the man is able to ejaculate after effective simulation for a long period, then he suffers from delayed ejaculation, whereas if he is not able to ejaculate, then he suffers from nonejaculation.

Sometimes the man is able to ejaculate in some cases, for example, solo masturbation, oral sex or manual sex with his wife, but not in other cases like intercourse.

Delayed ejaculation is a hard, depressing problem; some husbands ignore this until they think about having children, and some men deal with the issue by refusing to have sex and leaving their wives wondering whether they have done something wrong to them, and some men fake orgasm during intercourse (not hard if using a condom) leaving the wives clueless to the problem, and, regardless of the way they play, it harms the husband’s sexual life and if not treated will harm the marital relationship.

It was thought that this problem is unfamiliar, but it turned out that it is continuously increasing due to life’s burdens and the unusual spread of electromagnetic waves from mobile phones and wireless and wired electronic devices and the spread of internet pornography.

delayed ejaculation

Causes of delayed ejaculation

There are five categories of causes preventing ejaculation: physical harms, drug-related causes, pornographic videos, pictures, and sites, physiological causes, and the adaptation to self-touch.

When the man was not suffering previously from a problem preventing ejaculation, then drugs, pornographic viewing, or physical factors are normally the cause, whereas if the man experiences difficulty during the first attempts to have sex with a woman, then the psychological causes are the most probably reason.

Pornographic reasons for ” delayed ejaculation “

It was not until recently that the effects of pornography had been examined; in recent years, an increasing number of doctors and consultants began testifying to the fact that men who used a lot of online pornography found difficulty in reaching orgasm while not watching porn videos.

Initial claims in this regard have been subject to doubt, but the enormous number of men changed the minds of many experts; this theory is that this happens because the pornographic videos and pictures are now available online in unprecedented huge and various amounts.

Excessive use makes the man in need of new photos to be fully excited and makes him unable to reach climax or maintain an erection with a real woman. And it is probable that this will soon become the most common reason for delayed ejaculation.

Psychological reasons for ” delayed ejaculation “

Traditionally, this was the most common reason; feeling guilty and thinking that sex is a bad or shameful thing can interfere with man’s ejaculation, especially with a woman.

Harmful events like unplanned pregnancy or getting caught while masturbating can also be a problem.

A man’s anger or depression with his wife can be a cause, and also the desire to withdraw or desire of foreplay or control can also be a reason.

Physiological reasons for ” delayed ejaculation “

Neural disorders like strokes and damage in the nerves of the spinal cord or the back can hinder ejaculation. Diabetic neuropathy and multiple sclerosis can also cause this problem. Age-related lack of penial sensitivity or of strength of erection can cause problems in ejaculation in some men.

Note. Delayed ejaculation in men aged above 40 is a normal problem but it is not a big one.

Drug-related reasons for “ delayed ejaculation “

A lot of drugs can interfere with the normal sexual function

1- Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs): They are infamous for this, for example, paroxetine (Paxil), fluoxetine (Prozac), and sertraline (Zoloft), being one of the most common causes of problems.

2- Alpha-blockers.

3- Antipsychotics, such as thioridazine (Mellaril).

3- Some high blood pressure drugs, such as guanethidine (Ismelin), can cause problems for some men.

4- Alcohol consumption can lead to ejaculation problems, usually in the short term, but excessive alcohol consumption may lead to more lasting problems.

Adaptation to self-touch for ” delayed ejaculation “

If the man learned to reach orgasm via a stimulation method which differs than intercourse stimulation, then he will find a problem in finding enough stimulation to ejaculate during intercourse.

Unusual masturbation techniques include using  a showe rhead or hitting the penis against a hard place which are the most common, but having sex through dry effort via clothes or hands can do the job, and these are rare cases.

Treatment for delayed ejaculation

Professional treatment normally requires a group of therapies over the span of months, and there are good success rates. And successful treatment requires determination from the spouses and their willingness to resolve the issue and being ready to undertake a long-term treatment.

First: Cause must be discovered, because treatment differs according to cause:

1- If the person can normally ejaculate within minutes from starting solo masturbation (using the hand without pornographic pictures), then cause is definitely psychological.

2- If the person is taking drugs, then he asks his doctor whether ejaculation problems are known side effects, as some drugs takes time to accumulate in the body, with the effect appearing very slowly; therefore, there can be big gap between the start of the medications and the effect related to ejaculation.

3- It is easy to identify adaption to self-touch as a cause, if the man did something that may cause that.

4- Pornography can be clear for the man, but maybe not for his wife.

5- If the delayed ejaculation happens in a man that has normal ejaculation, then the cause may be physiological.

6- Financial causes can be harmful to life, and discovering and treating such conditions are vital.

Pornographic causes

The solution is putting a stop on all pornographic uses; and it will take from a few weeks to a few months to reprogram the mind so that normal sex is a possible.

The man may find difficulty in desire or in not being able to reach maximum pleasure during climax, and leniency in using porn will only lead to prolonging the problem.

Physiological causes

The treating physician must deal with such issues in addition to treating the cause, and there may be drugs that can help in that.

In hard situations, a specialized vibrator designated for this purpose can help the man that does not ejaculate in another way.

Drug-related causes

Warning. Do not change the dose anytime or stop taking the drug without getting permission from the doctor; in some cases, it is possible to exchange needs and eliminate the difficulty in ejaculation without losing the benefit of the drugs.

It may be possible to use a lesser dose or taking during days off the doctor-prescribed drugs that allow normal sexual function without reducing drug levels to the extent that it loses its beneficial effects.

There may be a possibility of adding another drug that counteracts the ejaculatory side effects from the original drug, because drugs affect each man differently.

Adaptation to self-touch

The solution here is to gradually change the form of the effective stimulation, such as the following examples:

1- If the man became adapted to ejaculate during sex while wearing his clothes, then the husband takes off the trousers first and then continues as before. When he does that well, the  step-by-step removal of the trousers will go side by side with the fully naked movements, and the man reaches his climax by rubbing against the vagina, and then some lubricant can be added when doing so, and then they continue gradually until turning to intercourse in the final minute or having intercourse and then going to external rubbing till reaching orgasm.

Similar gradual changes can be utilized with the man who performs an unusual form of masturbation; the wife is initially there and then she gradually starts to do that in the way the man does it and she works slowly on adjusting what she does to move to pumping with her lubricated hand.

Psychological reasons

These are the hardest in some cases. Success depends on how the long the problem was for, how much the spouses are determined to treat this, and the health of the marital relationship in general.

 

Dealing with the root causes can help especially if shame, feeling guilty, or anger exists, and sometimes this goal is a dead end.

Re-adaptation through small steps is usually the key factor in resolving the problem.

 

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